28 de setembro de 2011

You know you’ve been in The Netherlands for too long when

1/ You have a bike
2/ You even know how to brake using retropedaling
3/ Walking from your faculty to the cafeteria has become unimaginable. You take your bike, even if it’s for 50 meters
4/ Eating 7 slides of bread for lunch doesn’t scare you anymore
5/ By the way, you stopped eating warm lunch. You just eat bread
6/ You know what a kroket is, and you learned to avoid the orange ones
7/ It doesn’t surprise you anymore to eat at 18:30
8/ You drink beer
9/ You got used to trance and electro music
10/ You don’t cheat on the train, because controllers are EVERYWHERE
11/ When the cafeteria is crowed, you line up neately with the others
12/ You used to use cash all the time, but now you have a pin card
13/ You think ducks are cute
14/ As soon as the sun pops out, you make a barbecue, even if it’s 10°C outside
15/ You think 15°C is warm
16/ You know winter stops in May, and not March as everywhere else
17/ You don’t remember what a moutain looks like
18/ You still don’t know how to speak Dutch. But your English has improved
19/ You know what Surinam is. And where it is
20/ You never go out without your bike lights
21/ You think butter in a bottle is normal
22/ You know that all the guys are in Delft. And the girls, everywhere else, especially Leiden
23/ You go to Leiden on Saturday
24/ You’ve been to a flower park, and thought it was cool
25/ You’re ok with having only one flavour of ice cream (the white ones)
26/ You don’t even bother to ask “do you speak English?”, you just speak English right away
27/ When you go to the cinema, you are ok with being told where to sit
28/ And you wouldn’t dare sit anywhere else
29/ You have finally accepted the fact that Gouda is cheese
30/ Paying 6€ for a meal in the cafeteria seems normal
31/ You know how to repair a bike
32/ You eat potatoes at least once a day
33/ You always check the weather before leaving home
34/ You know what it is being late and having to wait for a boat to cross the bridge
35/ You can drink milk at any time of the day
36/ Sometimes, you only drink milk as lunch
37/ You have tried karnemelk at least once
38/ You start liking dropjes
39/ For you something sweet means straubwaffels
40/ Spring means flowers blooming and construction sites opening up all over the place
41/ Being tall gets a new meaning
42/ Blonde is back to being a hair-color, not a concept
43/ you have 4 seasons in one day
44/ you can start a mail to your teacher who happens to be a doctor by “yo, wassup doc” (exaggeration can get the message through)
45/ You think that paying to use the toilets is normal.
46/ You know that kapsalon is not a typical turkish dish, but a hairdresser
47/ You start to think that the strange position of the hole in the WC is not that disgusting
48/ You find it easier to find a good joint that a good coffee
49/ You have the AH bonus card
50/ Your windows have no curtains, and you don’t care
51/ If your windows have curtains, you don’t use them, and just don’t care who might be looking at you
52/ For you, light rain is not rain
53/ Professors write a “well done” comment in your assignment and still grade you with a 6
54/ You can drink beer in the cinema (good)
55/ 10°C is warm enough to wear a short or mini skirt
56/ You can ride your bike in the rain, wind and even snow
57/ guys are very cute
58/ you can ride your bike wearing skirt (if you’re a girl), a suit or even high heels (if you’re a girl)
59/ When you start having strong opinion even if you vaguely know the topic
60/ When you “wash” the dishes with soap without rincing them
61/ “alstublieft and dank u wel” are the only dutch words you know
62/ You aren’t surprised anymore that the disco closes at 4 (but it still pisses you off)
63/ You learn to bike without using your hands on the handle
64/ You go to the market and you only buy the stuffs that fit in you bike
65/ Riding a bike and driking coffee/smoking/eating lunch at the same time is not a problem any more
66/ You reformulate the saying “if you drink, don’t drive” by “if you drink, don’t ride”
67/ You’ve been asked where the coffeeshop is
68/ You start wearing orange during soccer events, even when you’re not dutch
69/ You get used not to use napkins when eating. You just eat dirtily.
70/ You know what GVD stands for
71/ You can never predict the weather and can not believe the weather forecast anymore
72/ You wait for the light to go green before crossing the street, even if there is no car
73/ You sometimes eat only with a spoon
74/ You tried fried fish from the caravans at least once
75/ You clap the lecturer (just because he’s been speaking for 2 hours)
76/ You run to Albert Heijn at 21.55 to get some beer for the party that night
77/ Trees planted in straight rows/ aka the forest/ seems normal
78/ You think you understand why they don’t serve coffee at coffeeshops (but you’re not sure yet)
79/ You steal a bike at the station because the night before someone stole yours
80/ You think it is okay to eat multicoloured sprinkels on bread for breakfast
81/ You use 9292ov.nl to go to the supermarket
82/ You know that the wind blows in your face regardless of the direction in which you are biking
83/ You don’t even try to park in an unauthorised area just to ‘pick something up in 5min’, because you know you will get a ticket in 30secondes
84/ When you move out of your apartment, you know you might have to take the floors with you
85/ Stepping in doggiepoo on the sideawalk becomes almost a daily thing
86/ You end up eating super greasy food at 5am at FEBO or ALEV (Delft) Dutch Junk Food
87/ And after that, you manage to bike home still completely wasted and go to class at 8:45
88/ You need an appointement to talk with your friends. Or your mother.
89/ You enjoy making tourists jump off the bike path
90/ You paid more for the lock of your bike than for the bike itselft
91/ Real bread? You’ve made your peace with it. It doesn’t exist
92/ You know that the Netherlands doesn’t have a special dish. They just fry everything
93/ You know getting a couch will be difficult because it doesn’t fit through the door. Windows maybe?
94/ You’re ok spending Queen’s Day in the train because people are walking on the rails
95/ Yap, Joost and Jeroen are the names of most of the Dutch guys you know
96/ when the sun pops up all your Dutch friends are wearing beach flip flops
97/ Dutch people ask you why don’t you speak Dutch?
98/ You still don’t speak Dutch but watch silly Dutch TV shows like Take me out and Single
99/ You have been in a relationship with at least one Dutch person
100/ You are used to people bumping into you abruptly on the street, yet never saying sorry

20 comentários:

  1. bem jogado, fiz uma cena parecida agora.

  2. Eu era capaz de viver aí só para poder ir para todo o lado de bicicleta.

  3. Sim sim, vem cá em Dezembro, e eu empresto-te a bina para dares umas voltinhas. É especialmente agradável nessa altura.

  4. Estou especialmente interessado no terreno. Não faço questão de apanhar com todos os outros inconvenientes.

  5. Epá! Isso podia ser na Bélgica, talvez com a exceção da parte francófona, onde ninguém fala inglês. E até eu que não gosto de cerveja já a bebo. :p

  6. estive na Holanda à uns meses e recordo-me especialmente do jantar às 18h30 e de comer pão, atrás de pão :)

  7. ehpa pronto, deixei de ler prai no número 70. algumas coisas reconheci como a cena de as raparigas andarem de bicla com saias e de telemóvel numa mão e o guarda chuva aberto na outra.

  8. Em algumas coisas a Holanda é parecidas com a Escócia, mas mesmo assim esta lista tirou-me a vontade toda de ponderar viver aí (não que a Holanda me encantasse muito).
    Boa sorte!

  9. Partilhei com um amigo holandês que vive em Portugal.

  10. "You even know how to brake using retropedaling"
    Eu não faço ideia. Seria pedir-lhe demais, Luna, que explicasse? Tenho uns kms nas pernas e não faço ideia.

  11. Aqui na holanda é comum encontrar bicicletas onde o travão nao é de mão, mas se trava pedalando para trás. A minha primeira bina aqui era assim, e uma vez habituados, é muito melhor - dá para controlar muito melhor a travagem em descidas, por exemplo, e acaba por ser mais instintivo.

  12. Apesar de não viver na Holanda e nunca aí ter ido, reconheço tantas destas coisas. Tenho família em Roterdão e ao meu tio, que está lá há mais de 30 anos, a única coisa que alguma vez o ouvi dizer em Holandês é o que consta na alínea 61. Hehehe!

  13. Sabes que vives em Portugal há demasiado tempo quando a economia e tudo o resto se desmorona e só pensas se vai estar bom tempo no fim de semana.

  14. Sabes que vives em Portugal há demasiado tempo quando numa lista de anúncios de emprego já distingues, na boa, quais os que são para call centers.

  15. hahahahaha só tive seis meses na holanda mas reconheço tudo, mto bom! só não sei o que é "Surinam"...

  16. Suriname: ex-colónia holandesa ali para os lados das guianas, com uma numerosa comunidade na Holanda.

  17. Ia fazer o mesmo exercicio, mas ia ficar quase igual e é chato. BTW, tu tens um cartão de desconto do AH! Nao me digas que és um alien? ;)

  18. O AH mais próximo fica do outro lado da cidade, e é o mais longe de todos.

  19. Eu sei, mas eu achava que mesmo assim nesta terra toda a gente tinha cartão do AH. Tipo ter BI, sabes? ;) (kidding, obscrosse)