28 de setembro de 2011

You know you’ve been in The Netherlands for too long when

1/ You have a bike
2/ You even know how to brake using retropedaling
3/ Walking from your faculty to the cafeteria has become unimaginable. You take your bike, even if it’s for 50 meters
4/ Eating 7 slides of bread for lunch doesn’t scare you anymore
5/ By the way, you stopped eating warm lunch. You just eat bread
6/ You know what a kroket is, and you learned to avoid the orange ones
7/ It doesn’t surprise you anymore to eat at 18:30
8/ You drink beer
9/ You got used to trance and electro music
10/ You don’t cheat on the train, because controllers are EVERYWHERE
11/ When the cafeteria is crowed, you line up neately with the others
12/ You used to use cash all the time, but now you have a pin card
13/ You think ducks are cute
14/ As soon as the sun pops out, you make a barbecue, even if it’s 10°C outside
15/ You think 15°C is warm
16/ You know winter stops in May, and not March as everywhere else
17/ You don’t remember what a moutain looks like
18/ You still don’t know how to speak Dutch. But your English has improved
19/ You know what Surinam is. And where it is
20/ You never go out without your bike lights
21/ You think butter in a bottle is normal
22/ You know that all the guys are in Delft. And the girls, everywhere else, especially Leiden
23/ You go to Leiden on Saturday
24/ You’ve been to a flower park, and thought it was cool
25/ You’re ok with having only one flavour of ice cream (the white ones)
26/ You don’t even bother to ask “do you speak English?”, you just speak English right away
27/ When you go to the cinema, you are ok with being told where to sit
28/ And you wouldn’t dare sit anywhere else
29/ You have finally accepted the fact that Gouda is cheese
30/ Paying 6€ for a meal in the cafeteria seems normal
31/ You know how to repair a bike
32/ You eat potatoes at least once a day
33/ You always check the weather before leaving home
34/ You know what it is being late and having to wait for a boat to cross the bridge
35/ You can drink milk at any time of the day
36/ Sometimes, you only drink milk as lunch
37/ You have tried karnemelk at least once
38/ You start liking dropjes
39/ For you something sweet means straubwaffels
40/ Spring means flowers blooming and construction sites opening up all over the place
41/ Being tall gets a new meaning
42/ Blonde is back to being a hair-color, not a concept
43/ you have 4 seasons in one day
44/ you can start a mail to your teacher who happens to be a doctor by “yo, wassup doc” (exaggeration can get the message through)
45/ You think that paying to use the toilets is normal.
46/ You know that kapsalon is not a typical turkish dish, but a hairdresser
47/ You start to think that the strange position of the hole in the WC is not that disgusting
48/ You find it easier to find a good joint that a good coffee
49/ You have the AH bonus card
50/ Your windows have no curtains, and you don’t care
51/ If your windows have curtains, you don’t use them, and just don’t care who might be looking at you
52/ For you, light rain is not rain
53/ Professors write a “well done” comment in your assignment and still grade you with a 6
54/ You can drink beer in the cinema (good)
55/ 10°C is warm enough to wear a short or mini skirt
56/ You can ride your bike in the rain, wind and even snow
57/ guys are very cute
58/ you can ride your bike wearing skirt (if you’re a girl), a suit or even high heels (if you’re a girl)
59/ When you start having strong opinion even if you vaguely know the topic
60/ When you “wash” the dishes with soap without rincing them
61/ “alstublieft and dank u wel” are the only dutch words you know
62/ You aren’t surprised anymore that the disco closes at 4 (but it still pisses you off)
63/ You learn to bike without using your hands on the handle
64/ You go to the market and you only buy the stuffs that fit in you bike
65/ Riding a bike and driking coffee/smoking/eating lunch at the same time is not a problem any more
66/ You reformulate the saying “if you drink, don’t drive” by “if you drink, don’t ride”
67/ You’ve been asked where the coffeeshop is
68/ You start wearing orange during soccer events, even when you’re not dutch
69/ You get used not to use napkins when eating. You just eat dirtily.
70/ You know what GVD stands for
71/ You can never predict the weather and can not believe the weather forecast anymore
72/ You wait for the light to go green before crossing the street, even if there is no car
73/ You sometimes eat only with a spoon
74/ You tried fried fish from the caravans at least once
75/ You clap the lecturer (just because he’s been speaking for 2 hours)
76/ You run to Albert Heijn at 21.55 to get some beer for the party that night
77/ Trees planted in straight rows/ aka the forest/ seems normal
78/ You think you understand why they don’t serve coffee at coffeeshops (but you’re not sure yet)
79/ You steal a bike at the station because the night before someone stole yours
80/ You think it is okay to eat multicoloured sprinkels on bread for breakfast
81/ You use 9292ov.nl to go to the supermarket
82/ You know that the wind blows in your face regardless of the direction in which you are biking
83/ You don’t even try to park in an unauthorised area just to ‘pick something up in 5min’, because you know you will get a ticket in 30secondes
84/ When you move out of your apartment, you know you might have to take the floors with you
85/ Stepping in doggiepoo on the sideawalk becomes almost a daily thing
86/ You end up eating super greasy food at 5am at FEBO or ALEV (Delft) Dutch Junk Food
87/ And after that, you manage to bike home still completely wasted and go to class at 8:45
88/ You need an appointement to talk with your friends. Or your mother.
89/ You enjoy making tourists jump off the bike path
90/ You paid more for the lock of your bike than for the bike itselft
91/ Real bread? You’ve made your peace with it. It doesn’t exist
92/ You know that the Netherlands doesn’t have a special dish. They just fry everything
93/ You know getting a couch will be difficult because it doesn’t fit through the door. Windows maybe?
94/ You’re ok spending Queen’s Day in the train because people are walking on the rails
95/ Yap, Joost and Jeroen are the names of most of the Dutch guys you know
96/ when the sun pops up all your Dutch friends are wearing beach flip flops
97/ Dutch people ask you why don’t you speak Dutch?
98/ You still don’t speak Dutch but watch silly Dutch TV shows like Take me out and Single
99/ You have been in a relationship with at least one Dutch person
100/ You are used to people bumping into you abruptly on the street, yet never saying sorry

20 comentários:

  1. bem jogado, fiz uma cena parecida agora.

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  2. Eu era capaz de viver aí só para poder ir para todo o lado de bicicleta.

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  3. Sim sim, vem cá em Dezembro, e eu empresto-te a bina para dares umas voltinhas. É especialmente agradável nessa altura.

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  4. Estou especialmente interessado no terreno. Não faço questão de apanhar com todos os outros inconvenientes.

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  5. Epá! Isso podia ser na Bélgica, talvez com a exceção da parte francófona, onde ninguém fala inglês. E até eu que não gosto de cerveja já a bebo. :p

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  6. estive na Holanda à uns meses e recordo-me especialmente do jantar às 18h30 e de comer pão, atrás de pão :)

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  7. ehpa pronto, deixei de ler prai no número 70. algumas coisas reconheci como a cena de as raparigas andarem de bicla com saias e de telemóvel numa mão e o guarda chuva aberto na outra.

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  8. Em algumas coisas a Holanda é parecidas com a Escócia, mas mesmo assim esta lista tirou-me a vontade toda de ponderar viver aí (não que a Holanda me encantasse muito).
    Boa sorte!

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  9. Partilhei com um amigo holandês que vive em Portugal.

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  10. "You even know how to brake using retropedaling"
    Eu não faço ideia. Seria pedir-lhe demais, Luna, que explicasse? Tenho uns kms nas pernas e não faço ideia.

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  11. Aqui na holanda é comum encontrar bicicletas onde o travão nao é de mão, mas se trava pedalando para trás. A minha primeira bina aqui era assim, e uma vez habituados, é muito melhor - dá para controlar muito melhor a travagem em descidas, por exemplo, e acaba por ser mais instintivo.

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  12. Apesar de não viver na Holanda e nunca aí ter ido, reconheço tantas destas coisas. Tenho família em Roterdão e ao meu tio, que está lá há mais de 30 anos, a única coisa que alguma vez o ouvi dizer em Holandês é o que consta na alínea 61. Hehehe!

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  13. Sabes que vives em Portugal há demasiado tempo quando a economia e tudo o resto se desmorona e só pensas se vai estar bom tempo no fim de semana.

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  14. Sabes que vives em Portugal há demasiado tempo quando numa lista de anúncios de emprego já distingues, na boa, quais os que são para call centers.

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  15. hahahahaha só tive seis meses na holanda mas reconheço tudo, mto bom! só não sei o que é "Surinam"...

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  16. Suriname: ex-colónia holandesa ali para os lados das guianas, com uma numerosa comunidade na Holanda.

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  17. Ia fazer o mesmo exercicio, mas ia ficar quase igual e é chato. BTW, tu tens um cartão de desconto do AH! Nao me digas que és um alien? ;)

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  18. O AH mais próximo fica do outro lado da cidade, e é o mais longe de todos.

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  19. Eu sei, mas eu achava que mesmo assim nesta terra toda a gente tinha cartão do AH. Tipo ter BI, sabes? ;) (kidding, obscrosse)

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